It's a rough life

...but someone's got to live it! Dave asked me if I was coming to work today and I think I said: "As if!?!"

He asks me suspiciously: "Why -- what are you doing?"

"Ummm...hello! I have 2 kids to get to school, lunches made, a dishwasher to unload, go grocery shopping, drop Hayden off and then unload the groceries."

Not impressed, he replies: "Yah, then what?" He starts laughing. He knows something has being left out of the above listed daily Deborah activities.

"Then, I have to shower and meet the ladies for lunch!" (somewhat defensively).

I mean, I'm exhausted just typing what I had to accomplish in that period of time.
Dave almost choking with laughter says: "Where?!"

"The Cheesecake Factory." End of conversation. I'm sure his lunch includes enough time for Taco Smell.

Truth be told: Lindsay got picked up for school. Mallory emptied the dishwasher. Hayden dressed himself. Mallory put shoes on Hayden. I went grocery shopping to kill time between her drop off and his. And oh...got gas and a carwash. (Can't show up to lunch with a dusty car?!? It's still new!) I posted a blog while all the morning activities were happening before leaving the house. Now I'm posting another since I had a few extra minutes after putting the groceries away. I do need to go shower so I can relax after such a trying morning and enjoy someone serving me lunch at...and this part is true...at The Cheesecake Factory.

It's a rough life, but...I can't wait to see how hard tomorrow is!

"You've Got Mail..."

...One of the many reasons we are married after all these years. The Parent Trap, The Sound of Music, Enchanted. What I LOVE about our relationship is when "While You Were Sleeping" comes on the tube for the 100th time, he's totally game for watching it with me all over again (as long as he can stay awake...that is.) I love it when an old favorite comes on, it reminds me of the things that made us fall in love in the first place. It reminds me of holidays and candles and yummy food. Dave insists on Happy Endings and isn't really up for too much more. He does enjoy a mystical flick with Mallory from time to time, but often Dave will lament as we are surfing channels..."Isn't Sleepless in Seattle" on? Dave's all about sweet romance and good times (well, at least as far as the movies are concerned...since we can't control every day life quite that much) -- and we'll take 'em where we can get 'em! The other morning over a Waffle Barn breakfast, complete with waffles, eggs, hash browns, the works...Dave said: "This reminds me of Disneyland and Goofy's Kitchen." Me, too! We're kind of boring and predictable. We love to do the same stuff over and over. We don't like surprises...unless it's another viewing of an old fave.

Thanks for all the good times, honey, over and over!

Smashing Pumpkins

Did you ever see David Letterman throw a watermelon or pumpkin off of a high-rise? It's actually pretty funny. For some reason, that image came to mind before I walked in to get my first-ever mammogram. I mean, really, who knew what to expect! After waiting what seemed like forever, they called me in and asked if I was wearing deoderant. Darn! I forgot that part. "Sorry." She handed me some alcohol wipes and sent me into the dressing room.

"Take off everything above your waist and prepare to be humiliated." -- Well, it sounded like that to me. So I go in there and watch the technician review my paperwork.

"Have you ever had a mammogram before?" she asks.

"Can't you tell from my "deer caught in the headlight" look on my face that the answer is "No". I respond in my head. I just shake my head instead.

"Any breast cancer in the family?"

Again...in my head: "Don't you think you would have seen these jugs in here before now if I did?" -- Errr, nope.

Me again: "Does it mention in there I have implants?"

Technician (for real:) "Ummm, no! That makes a huge difference. (Moan) Did they ask you that when scheduling an appt?"

"Yes." I wait 5 more minutes as she clicks the mouse 1,000 times just to to string out the discomfort, probably. I can see we are off to a good start.

Then the fun really begins. I GET to disrobe. Then she says:

"So slap that puppy up there...the right one." Clearly, I'm translating here, but this is how it's going down in my head.

The first 2 shots were no big deal...no squeezing, no discomfort. Shots #3-#6 were a little more exciting. The last 2 were downright over that line I thought I drew in the sand. She pulled and stretched and made me lean, step back, and asked me to throw my hips back. The she pushed that machine down and yelled: "Pizza, pizza!"

Listen lady. For one thing, I'm not that limber and did you notice how short I am? Don't you people provide step-stools or have some height adjustment lever? I've got a huge load in the back trunk here and thrusting my hips just isn't good for anyone! I'm already the Leaning Tower of Pisa, here. I know you are thinking (as I stand there naked from the waist up) -- why didn't you go for the package deal??? -- lipo and augmentation -- but get over yourself! Even with the doctor's help I'm not brimming over here, so let's get on with it, take the picture, and let me go about the business of being me, which, frankly, is hard enough.

All in all, I'm still in tact, despite the waiver. 6 pictures later I get to put the cover-up back on, collect my dignity (what's left), and find my bra, all in all, hoping I still need one now that's over!

World's Best Big Sister

Some kids are just keepers! Mallory was born to come first. She knows exactly how to get to a mother's heart -- and that is through the heart of a sibling. Her brother, to be precise.

On a quiet Sunday morning, Mallory helped entertain her brother by inviting some friends to dinner. We hadn't seen these

friends in a while, but I imagine they are still close to her heart, as is that childhood that seems to quickly be slipping away...blending with the teenage years. I know these friends are close in proximity, under her bed, I believe. Available at a moment's notice. And always hungry...

Soccer Pirate

Notice the placement of the sword...

...soccer socks and shin-guards make excellent sword holsters!

Definitely look out for this pirate on the field...he's got a secret weapon!

Nerves of Medal

Lindsay is somewhat of an enigma. Her life seems to be about conquering things. She's outgoing but she's a home-body; she's competitive but in a quiet way; she's ambitious but afraid. Today she overcame wobbly legs and a nervous heartbeat as she ran her first cross-country (XC) race. We were at a beautiful park in Loomis - a gorgeous setting for her first race. There were huge numbers of kids. Lindsay ran against somewhere in the neighborhood of 90 or so other 6th grade girls. There were just 3 girls from her school in her grade. She never lets us know she was nervous until AFTER the race. She is a strong girl. She managed to come out winning the last medal -- they award medals to the first 15 girls...she placed 15th. That was her goal going in...just to medal. We're proud of her placing...but even more proud that she was willing to try something new and push fear aside to get there. GO LINDSAY!

SSSSSSSSnakes

Okay, so we killed 2 last week bringing the total to 5. (Tangent: Please no remarks about how un-PC the "killing" is here. Fine..."we gently put them to sleep with a shovel".) Not surprising since one of the two was a brand new baby and my friend says the other morning: "...then there's sure to be more if they just hatched." Lovely. Prozac, anyone? I'm feeling a little anxious. But welcome to episode #6:

I come home tonight and the first thing the kids say is...Hayden spotted another snake! Dave gingerly admits: "It slithered away too fast, so I didn't catch it!" Defending himself, he continues: "By the time I got the hoe, it was gone!" Enough already. Time to start packing heat, buddy, so you can be ready at any moment! I'm done living in constant fear.

So now I'm supposed to drift off to slumberland??? Visions of -- not sugarplums -- nooo....but sssssssnakes slithering around my brain...or at least my yard. Can't wait to lie down and start counting snakes to put my mind to bed! Is there no end to this madness? I mean, wouldn't you stay away if we'd killed your parents and siblings? It's not safe here, creatures, slither to the neighbor's yard, there is a mad woman on the loose! I mean mad, man....errr...snake!

Next on CBS Series - Survivor: The Erl's Backyard. Contestants have to battle nature in suburbia: sleeping with skunks, squirrels, raccoons, mice, ants and rattlesnakes. Watch who survives!

SSSSSSSSSSee ya. SSSSSSSSSSleep is calling.

Pressure

As usual -- there is PRESSURE from an un-named, directly-connected individual, blood sister to PUBLISH a blog. (That eliminates all but two of you and one is never on the computer much, so you can rule her out). As usual, with pressure, I succumbed to my competitive nature and obliged. But this picture-taking business every day of cute things my kids are doing and saying...well...let's just say NO WAY! I'm happy to photoshop my head on some runner's body, but beyond that, I'm not promising anything.

I sense I'm in a heated competition and I've already pulled a muscle. Plus, I've just eaten so anything can happen.

Speaking of which, although I'm not a morning person -- for those who already know and love me -- you've accepted this -- the best part of the morning is how you feel about yourself. This is the time when I feel thinnest. Haven't eaten yet, often spent some time digesting (too much information?) and feel amazingly thinner and feel quite certain that my fat jeans will no longer feel tight. I know, I know, it all comes to a screeching halt when we slip on the running shorts (not just made for running but for couch surfing as well...) and they feel a little snug. Maybe I should make a switch from toasted sesame bagels and butter to a nice bowl of Fiber One for a week and see if that doesn't loosen things up. Oh well. Still enjoy those minutes of hope and denial every morning...

Today is another beautiful fall-like morning, crisp and cool with a slight breeze. The leaves are starting to turn and a feeling of apple-cider is in the air. Until 1 pm when it heats up, but whatever. The Pumpkin Pie candles I have burning help create the ambience nonetheless.

Well, I'll have to start packing the camera and see if I can't lap my sister RSH (cough cough) from time to time. But I'm not nearly as clever or kitchy as her, and reading her blog, I find I'm not nearly taking enough time to smell the roses, or garden-picked flowers...should I say!

Finally, the blog is entitled "Wrinkles and Time". It was a toss-up between that and "Fiber is my Life." Still, I looked in the mirror and realized I couldn't stop either one, so I figured it's the truth, let's accept it with facials, regular massages and continue saving for the plastic surgery on my thighs. (Very expensive...I have large thighs). Mom, relax, have a little Reliv and sit down. I'm only kidding.

Well, my fiber has kicked in, gotta run...