You wouldn't know it by looking at this picture or by who this boy is today.
But there was a time when this child couldn't touch grass. Or sand. Or walk barefoot. Or go down the slide because of dirt or gnats. He couldn't handle haircuts. Or hats. There were a LOT of hurdles. And even more tears. But that is a story for another day.
Food was another stumbling block. Once upon a time it seemed not to far from the truth to say he only ate 5 foods. Five. If you are a mom, then you understand the emotional and mental battle about "allowing" your child to only consume 5 foods. But with all the other mountains we were climbing, food was definitely the final frontier. And I learned to just let it go. The time would come. This child helped me find patience I didn't have and truly understand that unconditional love is just that. Unconditional. Even if he only ate 5 foods, that was good enough for me.
I wouldn't say my husband agreed. He was constantly trying to prod food into him. Bribery. Virtual "force" via threat. (Much to my chagrin and looks of disagreement). And sometimes it worked. But only to come up minutes later on his dinner plate in the form of vomit. Hayden knew what his body could handle.
He wasn't ready. But I was. Ready, that is, to wait.
Fast forward to now. I have a child barely reminiscent of who he used to be. He runs barefoot. I give him haircuts at least every three weeks. He builds sand castles. And gets dirty. And loves nothing more than the hood on his jacket on a cold day.
Last night I put chicken tortellini in front on my child. Of late, I've learned it was time to start pushing the boundaries again. Sometimes we are successful, sometimes one bite is good enough for me. I told him: "This is chicken and cheese wrapped up in pasta with tomato sauce. And I need you to eat it all." The beautiful thing between this mother and her son is we have developed a deep and abiding trust. A trust that he understands that it won't kill him. That he might like it. Because his mother was willing to wait and understood what her son was capable of at different times in his life. He looked me square in the eye and said, not disapprovingly, "Okay". More resolutely than anything.
The girls were ooohing about my packaged tortellini in our family-made tomato and cream sauce and garlic bread with steamed broccoli on the side. We've learned to just eat and not pay much attention to Hayden's eating because he doesn't like it. I think it makes him feel weird. But out of the corner of my eye, I noticed he was eating it.
"Chicken in pasta with cheese is yummy." My response: "I knew you would like it. Maybe it will be one of your new favorites?!" He nodded. Then...
"What does broccoli taste like, Mom?" I stopped chewing. Ummm. That was out of left field. I haven't even begun to go there. I was happy with fruit and cooked carrots. But broccoli? So much texture! "Would you like to try it? Did you know that dark green vegetables are one of the most healthy vegetables?" He took the stem and observed the bushy head. Now the girls were involved.
"Hayden, just eat the top of the tree off like me." Mallory offered.
And so, he did. And he didn't vomit. And he ate the whole thing. And I don't know if he loved it, but I would guess he'd eat it again. And we didn't make a big deal. We just went on eating our meal.
I want you to know this is one of my biggest accomplishments. Not because my son ate broccoli, although that doesn't hurt. But because my patience paid off. Because trust -- over 7 long years -- is beginning to triumph. It's the little things that lead to big things. And because love is kind and eventually allows the little people in our lives to find the courage to do and be more. This little boy is often the sunshine in my day. He has been the silver lining on some dark days.
Thank Goodness for little boys.
