Okay, so we killed 2 last week bringing the total to 5. (Tangent: Please no remarks about how un-PC the "killing" is here. Fine..."we gently put them to sleep with a shovel".) Not surprising since one of the two was a brand new baby and my friend says the other morning: "...then there's sure to be more if they just hatched." Lovely. Prozac, anyone? I'm feeling a little anxious. But welcome to episode #6:
I come home tonight and the first thing the kids say is...Hayden spotted another snake! Dave gingerly admits: "It slithered away too fast, so I didn't catch it!" Defending himself, he continues: "By the time I got the hoe, it was gone!" Enough already. Time to start packing heat, buddy, so you can be ready at any moment! I'm done living in constant fear.
So now I'm supposed to drift off to slumberland??? Visions of -- not sugarplums -- nooo....but sssssssnakes slithering around my brain...or at least my yard. Can't wait to lie down and start counting snakes to put my mind to bed! Is there no end to this madness? I mean, wouldn't you stay away if we'd killed your parents and siblings? It's not safe here, creatures, slither to the neighbor's yard, there is a mad woman on the loose! I mean mad, man....errr...snake!
Next on CBS Series - Survivor: The Erl's Backyard. Contestants have to battle nature in suburbia: sleeping with skunks, squirrels, raccoons, mice, ants and rattlesnakes. Watch who survives!
SSSSSSSSSSee ya. SSSSSSSSSSleep is calling.
2 comments:
You are stinkin' hilarious. Who writes like this? Go get a job with Dave Barry.
xoxo
Peter found a black widow in our front yard, but that pales with rattlesnakes. All I can say is "GO DAVE!" Thank heaven for husbands who work well with shovels and snakes!
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