Friday, Bloody Friday

Okay, okay. It's Sunday, Bloody Sunday (U2), if you know the song. If not, click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fd1mKaxN6EY. (If you're clicking...you are either too young or too old...ha...I got almost everyone in one fell swoop!)

Anyhoo -- tomorrow is Friday -- which means (you should know this by now) -- I work in the kindergarten classroom! The down side of working on Friday's is you get stuck with all the parties and holiday celebrations. I know I should be grateful I still attend a school in which we are still allowed to celebrate said holidays and bring in home-baked goods (NOT that I would bake when I can buy!!!). Still, tomorrow presents itself as the dreaded Thanksgiving feast.

Why dread, you ask? For one thing, I have a son who hates most food. Last night at the dinner table Hayden said:

"Mom, can I pleeeease be absent from my Feast on Friday?"

Curious, but almost knowing the answer ahead of time, I inquired as to why? He was in no mood to put his finger on it publicly, but I said we'd chat later. All presumptions were correct.

So it may not even be the kids that irritate me so much as the mom's. I'm the queen of Frumpstein, but those ladies make me look like Denise Austin, perky, "fit" (and that is a term being used LOOSELY), and fashionable! My jeans don't come up to my 3rd rib; I speak in complete sentences, and I've cleaned the wax out of my ears for the occasion and decided to not speak of my latest method of contraception at the kindergarten Thanksgiving Feast. (I know this cuz I've been to the Halloween party. Heaven help me)! And no, I haven't sent in yet another video application for next season's "The Biggest Loser".

(BTW -- my mom actually thought I was just being mean making fun of people and calling them "Big Losers" and putting them on tv. OMG! She knows me well!) (C'mon -- I'm KIDDING! My mom lives under a rock...love you, Mom)!

Anyway, enough of my superiority kick. Basically, I'm just dreading the anxiety Hayden is going to feel when he sees sliced turkey and cheese cubes. Thank goodness he has a wonderful mother that is providing him some caloric relaxation: Store-bought sugar cookies, orange frosting, and harvest sprinkles. Please, no applause. I'm good.

The Misfit Elf

I know, I know. Turkey hasn't even been served! But I know once we walk into Mom's house...all will be right with the world. Hot rolls in the oven, pumpkin pie cooling on the counter, stuffing...oh endless stuffing...

But then...it will be time. We've washed the dishes, we've made our lists. And I want the mood to be set the MINUTE I walk back in through my door.

I want Santa to know I'm ready for him any time.

I'll light some candles, turn on some Christmas Carols...

Have Christmas Dinner Parties and make Gingerbread Houses...

And welcome everyone in for some holiday cheer.

The tree isn't up yet...but just you wait. This elf isn't done yet!

I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!! HO HO HO!

FHE at our House

First, you have to read the heart-wrenching, introspective, humanizing story posted by my sister at: http://www.dailygrapefruit.blogspot.com/. This should demonstrate some stark contrasts in our families and our personalities!

Having had a PTC (parent teacher conference) earlier in the day for my kindergartner son, I'm well aware of how much work there is to be done...by California standards, that is. As I've mentioned before, he's not at the bottom, just comfortably somewhere in the middle. Still, there is an obvious competitive side to this parent, so I strap on my boots and get ready to TEACH MY SON, DARN IT!

Near the end of dinner I say to Lindsay: Got get Chutes & Ladders and Candyland. My husband looks at me with pleading eyes..."Yes, dear, we're having Family Game Night. Hayden is going to practice his numbers." A resigned father pulls up his chair.

If you haven't played Chutes and Ladders with a 5-year old, then you should. I don't know a 5-year old on the planet that likes to lose, and certainly, my son isn't one of them. In fact, he has a partner in crime. A 47-year old who conveniently stops the spinner on that magical number that will take them from number 22 to 84 in one ladder if it stops on a "4". Bingo! No problem.

I shake my head at my husband for cheating, and BLATANTLY! Maybe not a FHE principal we meant to teach this evening. Then I see Hayden eyeing a ladder. He needed a 4; he spun a 5.

Counting: One, two, three, FIVE!!!!! Yes!

Boy, that cheating didn't take long! He picked that right up. Way to go, Pops! Guess who won that one?

Then Candyland. The other game lasted into eternity so we were ready to move on. Hayden quickly "double-red" jumped with a final "purple" draw to make his way to the Candyland Castle where again, he was annointed Winner! That was quick. One last game. In no time flat, AGAIN, Hayden beat us all to the castle.

So let's evaluate what we've learned here: Cheating leads to victory; Winning IS Everything; NOT learning how to be a gracious loser (never had that opportunity); and GLOATING is absolutely appropriate.

Absolutely humbling. For that variety of post, again please see The Daily Grapefruit or http://raisingamazingchildren.blogspot.com//.

For the other variety of misguided steps and failed attempts at teaching a lesson and laughable parenting, continue reading for your pleasure! Trust me, it'll make you feel better about yourself in no time!

Toof-less

All I want for Christmas is...(dee dee da, dee dee da...)


...well...he did lose his first tooth, anyway!

Sitting at church, I get a tap on the shoulder from my daughter:

Hayden has a loose tooth!

So much excitement. Then blood. Wow, we went from knowing we have a loose tooth to it may come out any moment.

The drama begins. "I need a drink." "My mouth really hurts." "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

I warned his Sunday School teacher that Hayden was close to giving birth, or at least acting like it and to prepare herself for some slight exaggeration. (I have NO idea where he gets it from?!) Verifying she was equipped with Kleenex, I left, trusting the tooth was secure.

Dinner. Biting into a banana, a look of dismay comes over his face. "Thawt hooourt." (translation with food in his mouth: That hurt.) The blood is now on the remainder of the banana. One second later, Hayden laid the tooth on the table and said: "I almost swallowed it."

Naturally, with dinner table manners in hand, Dave says: "Well, it's good you didn't or the tooth fairy would have had to find it in your poop!" Yes, lovely, I know! Hayden's shock from losing a tooth immediately turned to laughter and silliness. (Cuz when is Poop NOT funny? Ugh.)

I'm glad I get to be a tooth fairy instead of a poop fairy. I have had that job enough times in my life (and maybe even once when Becca lived with us). I try to block it out...bring on the tooth fairy dust!

Time to fly...

Sunday Smiles

Some Sunday's are sunnier than others...these smiles don't hurt!

Hayden

Mallory

Lindsay

Remember the 80's?

SO DO WE!!!!!!! It takes us back to the dating days -- all we can do is laugh! And I can hear you laughing from here! Eat your heart out, Pat Benetar!

Diggin' the earring?


That hair took forever!


Is this the same person teaching Relief Society on Sunday?

This was always a cool move! Oh yeah.

NO PRIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm over it.

Gooey Birthday

Every year it takes forever...catching up to Lindsay's classmates age just before they turn a year older...again. Ahhh, well. Here was her request for a birthday classroom treat.


Ooohey, gooey, buttery treats. First this...


Then this...


Finally...ready for the classroom! The teacher should thank me. Much less mess than cupcakes!


Birthday girl getting ready to divvy up treats, feeling a little embarrassed as the teacher says: "Now let's sing to Lindsay!" And...from the sound of it, you would never know any of these kids have had a homemade rice krispy treat. Homemade...nothing quite compares!

Also, having made 4 batches of rice krispy treats, I decided I might as well get dinner going, also. Today is already crazy busy!

Turkey chili in the crock pot, 40 rice krispy treats made, laundry is folded and another load going, blogs are posted, kitchen is cleaned, went grocery shopping...all before 9:30 am.

What have you done today? Doesn't matter...I need a nap! Happy Birthday Lindsay!