The Great Depression

I sometimes feel like Charlie Brown in one of Charles Schultz' famous stories like...The Great Pumpkin -- I'm Charlie muddling through life. Muddling -- that is one of my mother's favorite words that brings a smile to her face. I should be smiling through all my muddling. Indeed, I do try.

Life has been trying lately, to say the least. We are self-employed, so that story goes without explanation, I suppose. We are just muddling through it, trying to keep our heads above water and not drown on a daily, if not hourly basis. To hear our story, just turn on the news, and you'll hear about it. Our story is everyone's story which makes it difficult to feel sorry for oneself. Still, at times I'm trapped with anxiety and feel like choking someone. (Generally a politician but more likely a past-due client who doesn't have money to pay us, either). And so the trickle-down process continues, running -- and sometimes ruining -- my day.

Still, there are many bright spots. Mainly, my children. Mallory was just voted in for the Yearbook Awards. Remember those? Back in my day they were "Most Popular", "Most Attractive", "Smartest" etc. Now they are much more clever and PC. I guess it's not PC to say those things any more. Now they say things like "Most Unusual Dresser" or "Most Eclectic". At her middle school, they are in designated Academies. So these awards are called the Academy Awards. Cute, huh? Anyway, she was voted "Most Likely to Prove Einstein Wrong". I loved that. Her dedication to learning and mentoring others earned her a great reputation in my book.

Lindsay is a fantastic student as well, and her sunny disposition and late night chats always keep me humming. I adore her openness and her restlessness. She's just like me! She b-lines straight to the piano evert day after school, affording this mother the chance to sit back and enjoy free time -- no nagging. I've never once had to ask that child to go practice. Maybe to make her bed, but not to go practice. It makes paying that bill very easy.

And sweet Hayden. I laughed as he read me "Little Pea" the other morning, chuckling as Little Pea at his horrible dinner of candy. Then, the other night, while tucking him in bed, I asked him if he could just stop growing! I can barely lift him into my arms anymore. He chuckled and said yes. And then in a moment of weakness, I asked: "And then can you live at home with me forever?" Suddenly, I noticed a teardrop soaking into the pillowcase. "Why are you crying? Did I make you cry? We were just laughing! I don't want you to be sad? Why are you crying?" His little voice just said: "Just cuz I love you, Mom."

I know my children won't always shed tears at the thought of being with me, but for now, during this Great Depression, I will honor it as payment in lieu of the green stuff. It's like food and cash rolled into one...fills you up in ways neither of those other two things could!