There's No Such Thing

There's no such thing as a perfect life.

There's no such thing as a perfect child.

There's no such thing as a perfect parent.

There are perfect moments in life, but the rest of life's experiences, today, I believe, are to keep you in check. Make you humble. Make you appreciate the rest.

One morning last week I woke up feeling really grateful for our house. Having moved 3 times in two years would easily make one have that feeling. But it was deeper than that. And because you never know what life can throw at you. Living in a state where not a few, but many people I know have lost their homes due to losing jobs and a failing economy, home is not necessarily written in stone. It is something to be honored. And cherished. A haven. For now.

I'm lucky. People often tell me how wonderful my children are. And I whole-heartedly agree with them. But it's scary being on a pedestal. Even risky. Because eventually, you fall off. Or are pushed off. And there's that fork in the road. And mistakes are made. It's hard for them. Hard for me. Heartbreaking at times.

Part of parenthood. Most of it is wonderful. Some of it is so hard it will take your breath away. It makes you toss and turn at night. It makes me shed tears in moments alone. It takes me back to the mistakes I've made as a child and beyond. (I know, you thought I was perfect!) Oh my, there were many. And yet, I was still loved, even though I know I made that difficult to do. Or maybe it wasn't that they didn't love me, they just didn't love the decisions I had made. But I didn't feel that at the time. And it was lonely. I want so much for my children to not feel lonely. And yet they will, probably, because I can't make their lives perfect all the time. I have to let them find their way.

But what is perfect is love. It does prevail. It is pure and true. It does not change with the weather but instead, withstands weathering. It gets stronger. And deeper. And hopefully, in the long run, cuts through the red tape of life and shines brighter than the dark clouds that try to cover it up.

And that is what I do have...a perfect love for my family. We do not have a perfect life and I know hourly that I am not perfect. And on this gray day I will feel warmth from that perfect love. It will carry me through. And it is a gift from which I draw strength.

And while these challenges never feel promising, the eternal promise is love. And forgiveness. And the opportunity to share it with my family. And that, my friends, is perfect.

Day at the Farm

Born to Goodly Parents

Well, Doug sort of inherited me, and I'm sure at the the time, it was not by choice! But we seemed to move on and our love of Diet Coke and other refined foods replaced any bitterness that may have once existed. They made the big trip to visit us and took some fabulous photos of my kids at soccer and some nice photos of family as well. Lovin' that new camera Mom! And we love you guys. Miss you already.


Grandpa Doug & my sweet children.



Really...who could resist this face?!



A rare family photo -- all together -- all smiling! Who knew?!

A family is a beautiful thing...and I love the one I came from as well. I have wonderful parents who love us a lot. What more could I ask for in this life? Thanks for the memories!!! Can't wait til next time.

All I want for Christmas...

...is my two front teeth!

Captain's Log

October has been one of those months.

Here are some highlights:

1) I mean, I got highlights, no...low lights, went a shade darker. Still deciding. But really, having someone scrub my hair is so relaxing...definitely a momentary highlight.

2) Hayden finally lost one of his top very loose teeth...while brushing his teeth! He was so excited. Apparently the tooth fairy was so excited he finally got rid of that bugger she gave him three whole dollars!

3) Road rage. Not really a highlight, but my hand is being forced to share. After being cut off and slamming on my brakes shortly after picking up my daughter from high school and after having a very bad/stressful day -- I made the ridiculous decision to get out of my car at the stoplight to yell at a high school age driver: "I have kids in the car! I'm reporting you as a reckless driver...I've written down your license plate. (and finally...) You are a very ugly person! " (delivered with intensity, passion, and sincerity). In the days of YouTube...you really have to sit back and reconsider that decision. I know, not very impressive OR smart. I'm nothing if not impulsive.

4) My Dad came for a visit. I feel really lucky to have had some one on one with him. Parents are, after all, partly who you are.

5) Ditto for visit with my Mom and Doug. My mom always brings a little bit of sunshine wherever she goes...even though she drove through a typhoon to get here! We always eat well when they are around. (Which isn't to say I don't always eat well...most times you can find me in some local eatery around noon. In fact, when we decided to meet my folks who had my kids for a while at a restaurant last Saturday, when Dave & I showed up first, the owner said: "Where are your kids?!" Wow. I'm half-celebrity, in my own mind at least!)

6) Forced my middle child to get her eyebrows waxed. Unfortunately for her, she inherited her father's bushy brows...Mal got the gap in her teeth but my eyebrows...(we all have to share). She was verbally & physically trying to get out of it based on irrational fear. The way I see it, the sooner they learn beauty has it's price, the better. My sister tried to argue this point saying: "I've never had my eyebrows waxed!" As if I was offering some cruel and unusual punishment. And while I think my mother is wonderful, she was not running me to the beauty parlour all the time. These things I developed on my own. I'm high maintenance...I'll be the first to admit it. I like it that way. My daughter has gorgeous big eyes. But they were being overshadowed by the brows. Despite tears and anguish...and me having to graciously and generously get waxed to all in the name of "paving the way" -- she got in the car, flipped down the mirror, and said: "Sorry, Mom. You ARE right. It does look much better." If only I could capture those words for the future. Then she proceeded to say: "Now, if I could just do something about this big overbite!" We'll get there...just one more tooth to lose.

7) The pool is done. No more pool workers in the yard. Looking forward to lots of fun family moments next summer already.

8) My eldest has a crush. Wonder where this will lead if anywhere! This is not just a highlight, but a first. She's been cute to watch.

This has been a long, hard month. Important to focus on the good times when they can be overshadowed by difficult moments. Although my son has missed 6 days of school due to illness, I've also really loved having him around. This growing up stuff is for the birds.

Happy Haunting..(if I could ever make it to the pumpkin patch!)

Initiation!

Creepy in time for Halloween

Oh...David Letterman. How the mighty have fallen. If you don't know what I'm talking about, then check it out:

http://m.www.yahoo.com/?fr=fptb-&r0=1254521493

Here's the thing. I get that he's a comedian. But now he's a hypocrite! No longer will I be able to stomach a joke about some politician who's succumbed to affairs and prostitutes because I know better. He's as low as they are. And then to make light of it on his program last night to save his career? For me, he has just demeaned those women again. Publicly. I'm thinking the fallout has just begun. I hope so. He's just as low as the guy that tried to bribe him.

Being famous. I'm pretty sure that is about as low as life gets. Rarely do I hear anything positive coming out of these people. And while that's making headlines, it's such a sad sign of the times. I didn't hear a public apology to his wife or child on that video, nor sense any remorse whatsoever that he'd been pinned. Just an admission of "Yup, I did it. So what? I'm creepy."

David. Yes. You are!