I used to look forward to shopping. I used to savor moments alone in a store without my young children trying to climb out of the double-stroller. Lingering, touching, debating.
These days, I have plenty of moments alone to shop. But now it's not so fun. I have my items, I approach the counter and before I've made eye contact, I'm inundated with:
"Hi, how are you today? (no breath) Will this be on your Macy's card today? You get an extra 10% off if you use your card. If not, you can open one and get 20% off today, all day."
UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Here are some of the responses I've wished I'd offered (and some I really gave):
1. I just got released from prison yesterday, so I'll be using the stipend they gave me instead. Hand's up! Just kidding!
2. I work at a convenience store part-time and have really bad credit...do you think they would give me credit? That way I could walk out of here and maybe never pay for it at all!
3. Do you think they'll let me? I haven't paid the bill in months.
4. Not if I want to stay married.
5. No. Would you at 29% interest? You do the math.
6. Sweetie, you are very lovely, but you are giving me a headache.
7. How stupid do you think I am?
8. No -- and don't ever ask me that again. Post my picture at your terminal with a warning: angry shopper who does not like to be harassed or asked stupid questions just so you can get a $5 bonus on your paycheck. NOW!
8. No -- and don't ever ask me that again. Post my picture at your terminal with a warning: angry shopper who does not like to be harassed or asked stupid questions just so you can get a $5 bonus on your paycheck. NOW!
9. Honey, I know you have to ask me that question, but doesn't the button on your shirt asking me the same question do it for you?
10. Not if I was bleeding out my eyes. But thanks!
10. Not if I was bleeding out my eyes. But thanks!
Truthfully, my #1 answer is #4. I usually have my debit card out and I'm swiping as we're running the transaction through. Doesn't give much time for argument. And...I'm sure the annoyance in my voice underlines my frustration.
It is ruining MY shopping experience. Can't we start some kind of revolt?
I'm printing up buttons we can wear on our sweaters as we shop...
"No, thank you. I'm not stupid and I won't be using a store credit card today. Thanks for NOT asking!"
It is ruining MY shopping experience. Can't we start some kind of revolt?
I'm printing up buttons we can wear on our sweaters as we shop...
"No, thank you. I'm not stupid and I won't be using a store credit card today. Thanks for NOT asking!"
Happy shopping. There's a sale at Macy's.
1 comment:
I hear David Letterman 'Top Ten" department is hiring. You should apply. That was hilarious and so true. I was just at Target and she asked me if I wanted to open an account and blah blah blah. But when I said no, she said, "That's right. That's how it should be. Everyone should be saying no nowadays. They say yes and don't know how to control it and get into trouble." ???
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